Pedophilia, Zoophilia and Child Murder

This post was inspired by libertarianism definition in Encyclopedia Dramatica (ED). Obviously, in ED you should expect blatant, biased lies, and expect boring truths to get deleted quickly, according to their About, but that's precisely why it accurately reflects the most popular misconceptions about libertarianism.

Every libertarian will, sooner or later, be called child/dog fucker/murderer. Interestingly though, according to ED itself, the crimes are always perpetrated by non-libertarians. After all, ED claims libertarians are either 13 year old boys, fratboys who watch South Park, people that want to appear "alternative", or paranoid survivalists living in tiny cabins in Montana where they stockpile weapons and food for the dreaded day when Big Brother comes 'round tryin' to implant fail chips in their brains. I mean, pedophile 13 year old boys? Okay, I can see a paranoid survivalist occasionally fucking some stray dog high up in Montana, but that's basically it. So ED has to resort to fantasizing as in Glenn Beck case (assuming he is a libertarian) instead.

This got me thinking though. As a utilitarian minarchist, I could dismiss the whole issue immediatelly. I don't give a fuck about libertarian principles. If there is to be a legal child market for pedophiles, then fuck it (or more accurately, not fuck it), I prefer collectivism. But then the principles are not that bad anyway. Parents do not own their children. I can't see where that sort of primitive libertarianism even comes from. Also, children do not fully own themselves. That's all according to libertarian principles themselves and this is one of the grey areas where collectivism should kick in and find the most efficient utilitarian approach. Okay, so some children will die from hunger because they can't make a living in any other way than prostitution. But then we'll save so many children from sex abuse. Careful weighing of pros and cons. Problem solved, at least for children and retards (who are basically adult children).

Now, what about dog fucking? Does utilitarianism apply here? But what is utilitarianism really? Doesn't it rely on a hidden assumption of a right to happiness? Utilitarians often claim they do not believe in natural rights. But they do. They believe people have a natural right to happiness. Obviously, liberals/conservatives believe there exist positive rights, while libertarians only acknowledge negative ones. At least as far as humans are concerned. Neither liberals nor conservatives would like a dog to have a positive natural right to happiness though. After all, liberals/conservatives might suddenly find themselves in an awkward situation where a dog has a right to fuck them. This is actually a good illustration why positive rights are BS. Dogs do have a negative right to happiness, so fucking their asses should be illegal on that in fact utilitarian ground, but dogs do not have positive rights, so our own asses are safe too. Unless, I guess some genius can prove dogs love to be raped by other species. Since this seems to be one of our own gratest boogeymen (as any alien abductee can attest), we can easily assume dogs feel the same.

Finally, this brings us to the most common variant of child murder, abortion. Naturally, on utilitarian grounds, it causes more harm than benefit trying to prevent women from killing their unborn children, so we shouldn't. But then libertarian principles are not so pro-life either. If a child's existence was caused by deliberate action, parents would be responsible, and a mother would have an obligation to carry her child to full term. However, sex is a process where organisms form offspring that combine genetic traits from both parents. In other words, our species would have never evolved if sex was something we could choose to perform. We have to perform it, same as breathing, and rational reasoning has little impact on a man when he sees a sexy young coed, or on a woman when she sees a male that can support her offspring. Hence, children are conceived in a heat of passion, parents should not be legally responsible, and mother should not be forced to carry the child to full term. But doesn't that also legitimize child prostitution? After all, pedophiles also act in a heat of passion. No. Note I have nowhere said that a father has a right to fuck its unborn child, only that a mother does not have an obligation to carry her child to full term. Yes, technically the end result is the same as child murder, but the means are different. That's why we also make rape illegal, even though its end result (children) is same as in voluntary sex. Uffff...

As we can see, pedophilia, zoophilia and child murder would all be illegal in a utilitarian minarchist libertarian state, except for abortions, which are not really child murder proper, but rather a legitimate right to not having to carry the child to full term. But exactly same end result we get with libertarian principled approach, at least wherever property rights can actually be defined. In other words, libertarian principles do not support pedophilia, zoophilia and child murder, they are agnostic here and should be extended with utilitarianism so we can also account for children, retards and dogs.